rhoda_rants: (twixt)
I decided I was gonna make a list of cult horror references in Supernatural when I got caught up, and that time has arrived. If I went into every single horror reference I noticed over the seasons--not to mention the many cult movie icons who keep showing up as secondary characters (OMG it's Ginger! And Freddy! AND ALESSA!!!)--I'd never get off this one post. So I pared it down to my favorites, and tried to keep it in the realm of the slightly more obscure stuff that the average1 Supernatural fan might not have noticed.

1Keeping in mind that "average" is a misnomer at best. What I mean is people for whom this is the closest to horror they like to get, which includes the girl who got me into it in the first place. (Hi Gothie! *waves*)

Spoilers, Y'all! )
rhoda_rants: (amy pond)
So. The SFF community has been . . . chaotic lately. The gender wars have amplified to absurd levels and defenses are going up on all sides. It's mighty hazardous out there, and I've gone back and forth a bit over whether I wanted to comment on any of this or not, and just what I wanted to say should I decide to post anything.

Eventually, after much consideration and false starts, this is what I wound up with.

Let's talk about cred checking... )

ETA: Ms. McGuire has posted a follow-up post on the tendency of female geeks to list off their creds as a preemptive strike.
rhoda_rants: (john carter)
In this entry: Ilfayne's Bane, Wild Cards & Iron Horses, Night Shift (Saintcrow's, not King's), Personal Demons, A Great and Terrible Beauty, Equations of Life, Theories of Flight, Soulless, Blood Ninja and A Princess of Mars.

Yes, I picked that icon for a reason. ;)

Reviews under here... )
rhoda_rants: (anti-sparkle lestat)
Hey gang! There's so much that I could conceivably blog about right now, I don't even know where to start.

My continuing Coming Out adventure, New Lappy, the Vampire Marathon and B-day stuff )
rhoda_rants: (kiro)
Ranting under the cut so you can avoid it if you want. )


I made a post in the MovieBuffs community concerning a goal of mine this summer. As you (probably) know, Eclipse is coming out in June. My goal? To watch no less than 30 "essential" vampire movies before that time. Oh yeah. I'm going all out. First up: Blade.

In WIP news: I'm very nearly done with the third draft of my sci-fi YA thriller. Once it's finished, I'm gonna print it out and give it one more sweep, then send it to the masses. (YIKES and at the same time, YAY!)

Also I finally got back my NaNo from the person who was proofing it for me, so that's going to go through edits shortly as well.

A couple new story ideas are knocking around in my skull at the moment. To share briefly:

"Dusty"--yet another vampire story, with a very different mythology than anything I've done before. And hopefully, different from what anyone's seen before. We're always looking for a new spin on vamps, right? Part romance and part horror. I'm enjoying it so far; we'll see how it goes.

"The Blue Rose Room"--a paranormal investigator goes to check out a supposedly haunted bed and breakfast, with his loyal dog in tow, and finds a very strange candelabra amongst the decor. Based on a true story.
rhoda_rants: (Default)
Greetings! It's been a slow reading month for me, mainly because I've been up to my eyeballs in my NaNo. Speaking of which: I finished! The final word count stands at 50,437; that's 89 pages, single spaced, in Times New Roman 12 point font. It'll need a few revisions before it's query-ready, but I did it! I stuck to one story, and carried it from beginning to end without stopping, and met my word quota within the required time frame. I couldn't be more proud of myself.

Here, have a synopsis. )

Anyways, I did get a few good reads in, and here they are. Full reviews and book covers under the cuts, like always.

The Weight of Silence, Heather Gudenkauf

One hot morning in Iowa, two seven-year-old girls go missing, along with the father of one of them--the town drunk and an all-around bad guy. Everyone has suspicions over whether this man had anything to do with these disappearances, but things aren't always what they seem. (Except when they are, because everyone but me figured this out from the word "Go.") A particular coworker of mine likes to add books to the book club that invite discussion. Meaning, we get to rant on and on about how the characters in them are so stupid we'd like to collectively smack them upside their thick heads. This is one such book.

It was every parent's worst nightmare. )

The 19th Wife, by David Ebershoff

Two parallel families, one living in turn-of-the-century Utah with Brigham Young and company, the other living in modern day Utah somewhere between the real world and the bizarre microcasm of Fundamentalist Mormonism, struggle with the issue of polygamy and how it affects self-worth, child-rearing, and faith. Did I mention this particular coworker likes to incite discussion? This is the one that gave me nightmares, y'all.

Everything you never wanted to know about Mormons. )

Strange Candy, by Laurell K. Hamilton

I know what you're thinking. I really don't need yet another pseudo-romantic vampire series to get hooked on. And you're right--I don't. But as this is a short story collection, and my muse is HELL BENT on making me write a paranormal romance myself, we agreed to check this out as research and see where it went. So, guess what happened? I went and bought the first Anita Blake book, Guilty Pleasures, and may be getting hooked on yet another pseudo-romantic vampire series. Yeah--thanks a lot, muse.

Death is a very serious matter, Mrs. Fiske. )

Nightfall, by Robert Silverberg and Isaac Asimov

Started, haven't finished, setting it aside temporarily. A planet with six suns is about to experience total darkness for the first time. Pack a lunch, kids--it's Apocalypse Time!

Darkness, it isn't natural. It isn't anything that was meant to be. )
rhoda_rants: (kiriyama)
This is for [livejournal.com profile] stormkpr, because it's her birthday this week, and also she keeps telling me I ought to do one of these things. Full reviews and book covers under the multiple cuts. (Book covers ganked off of Amazon and Google Images, respectively.)

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde

When the young, handsome Dorian Gray meets Lord Henry Wotton, he adopts a philosophy of constant pleasure and style, and a life of hedonism and excess. But he also makes a terrible oath involving a stunning portrait done by the painter Basil Hallward, an oath that costs him his humanity and ultimately his life. Before vampires arrived in popular culture to make immortal damnation sexy, there was Dorian Gray and his cursed portrait.
So you think that it is only God who sees the soul, Basil? Draw that curtain back, and you will see mine. )

The Graveyard Book, Neil Gaiman

Nobody Owens is orphaned as an infant, and the residents - meaning dead folks - of a nearby graveyard take him in and care for him. You've heard the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child" - in this story, it takes a graveyard. But of course, there's a reason that Nobody's family was killed, and the man who did the deed knows his work isn't finished yet. Now a Newbury Winner for children's literature.
The dead should have charity. )

Battle Royale, Koushun Takami

Anyone who's been following my Halloween Candy comm lately knows the basic plot of this story: in the not-so-distant future in the Republic of Greater East Asia, a horrible rite of passage is placed on the nations youth: to be unwillingly taken to a remote island, armed to the teeth, and forced to kill each other over a period of 24 hours. If anyone tries to escape, that person dies. If they try to remove the electronic collars around their necks, they die. If there's more than one survivor after the 24 hours are up, they all die. Why? Read on to find out.
We won't stop till we win. )

Hunted, P.C. and Kristin Cast

The fifth book in the House of Night series, Hunted is the one that finally reaches the real plot. It's easy to be hooked by the premise - a Vampyre finishing school that's part coven lair, part Hogwarts, and part ancient pagan community - but this is where the story really gets rolling. Neferet, the High Priestess and leader of the school, has turned to the dark side by summoning an ancient evil: the fallen angel Kalona, a demonic and enthralling being that was once held captive by a tribe of Native American wise women called the Ghigua. And now, not only is he back to start a reign of darkness with Neferet at his side, but he wants our narrator, Zoey Redbird, to join him as his consort. So it's up to Zoey and her talented friends to stop him.
I'm seventeen! I can't save the world--I can't even parallel park! )

rhoda_rants: (frank iero)
When all else fails, use a Monty Python quote.

So! August kicked my ass, but September's been treating me okay. Well, more or less. I got back to work on my novel, and I think I'm rolling again. We had our book club meeting at work, everyone loved The Graveyard Book, but they didn't all get through Dorian Gray because it was, like, too hard. Sigh. Oh well. I tried. Next up: Water for Elephants. I also picked up a couple things that I've had on hold forever at the library: Hunted, the most recent installment of the House of Night Series; and Loop, the final part of Koji Suzuki's Ring cycle. I'm excited about having time to read again.

Over in the Halloween Candy comm, one of our users posted a challenge that I think looks really fun. I haven't quite finalized my list yet, but I am going share it once I do.

Also: the Vampocalypse Continues. I'm all over Cirque du Freak, because if John C. Reilly's in it, you know it's good. The other one? Not so much. (Well, at least True Blood's over. For now.)
rhoda_rants: (louis)



Inspired by Cleolinda's "Movies in Fifteen Minutes"


Author's Note: I'd like to preface this by saying that, while scandalized by how poorly (oh, so poorly) this adaptation went, I was thoroughly and consistently entertained by this movie. I had hoped to be distracted enough by the eye-candy that whatever egregious changes were made to the story, I wouldn't mind too much. Yeah, that didn't happen. So I felt I had no choice but to snark the hell out of it, and perhaps earn some laughs at the filmmakers' expense.


My problems with it in a nutshell: No Louis, No Twins, No Gabrielle. Oh, there a couple of thrown-in-because-we-had-to bits to explain who exactly the titular Queen is and why she has a jones for Lestat (although, to be fair, every one in this series has a jones for Lestat), and to reestablish the Rules of Vampirehood in case any one didn't watch the other movie, but it's all horribly cobbled together and not in the least bit accurate. The thing that really, really bugs me is that most of the stuff that was cut/changed seems to have been erased solely for gay and/or incestuous overtones. And that's pretty much the only reason. I don't really miss the incest, to be fair, but honestly.

Disclaimer: This is NOT fanfiction; it's a recap of a movie based on a book (sort of) but written in such a way as to poke fun at both.



this scene/plotline/character has been cut for gayness )
rhoda_rants: (team jasper)

Title: "Supernova Rising" aka "When Fandoms Collide"
Author: rhoda_rants
Length: Multi-chapter
Chapter: Prologue
Rating: Teen / PG13
Summary: The Cullens are preparing for the coming of the Volturi, training their family for combat, developing Bella's shield power, and gathering witnesses. But before the Volturi arrive, the mutant known as Wolverine passes through Forks on his motorcycle.
Characters: From X-Men: Rogue, Remy, Logan, Jean, Storm, Bobby; From Twilight: Alice, Jasper, Bella, Edward, Carlisle, Nessie, Kate; all canon pairings
Warnings: Alternate Universe, some violence
Author's Note: Part action, part drama, part romance, with a dash of comedy; dedicated to those of us who wanted a real fight at the end of Breaking Dawn.
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, don't sue.

Prologue )
rhoda_rants: (jackson rathbone)
Title: The Night Shade
Length: Multi-chaptered
Chapter: Six
Rating: M
Summary: Beth Dawson, college radio DJ, lives in a dormitory that was once a Confederate hospital. New student Jasper Hale was once a Confederate soldier. What happens when Jasper's past literally comes back to haunt him?
Character(s)/Pairing(s): OC, Jasper, Alice, Maria; canon pairings
Warnings: AU, profanity, violence
Author's Note: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Set after Breaking Dawn, with extended flashbacks building on Jasper's backstory. Read only if you're okay with horror, moderate gore and general creepiness. In this chapter: Maria figures out how to use Jasper's power.

Previous Chapters:

12, 3, 4, 5

Chapter 6 )
rhoda_rants: (jackson rathbone)
Ah, nothing like summer to pimp my local library for all it's worth! (And nothing like an economic recession to point me towards the library rather than the bookstore for a change. Saving is good!)

Just finished: Charlaine Harris's Dead and Gone, the latest installment of the Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire novels. It actually came out two months ago, but I didn't get around to reading it right away because A) no money, no time, etc. and B) it's been so long since I read the preceeding books, I decided to do a reread of the whole series before picking it up. I was not impressed. There's way too many fairies in this "vampire" book for my liking, and it still left me wanting Moar Eric. I may be ready to throw in the towel on this series for good.

HOWEVER, I have more plans for the reading I feel I should do this year.

The list thus far: )

Of course, on top of all this is my constant rereading and editing of my novel; my work on various other stories in various states of completion, including fanfiction; my quest for a library school not too far from home that will both accept me and teaches in-class, rather than by computer; and of course my existing chores, debts, and full-time work stuff. Wish me luck!
rhoda_rants: (van helsing)
Sparkle Motion and True Blood snark. Enjoy!

More under the cut.... )
rhoda_rants: (gerard way)

Feel free to blame [livejournal.com profile] yekith  for my participation in this meme. (Don't judge me!)

01. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper at their livejournal.
02. Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper!
03. Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!

Okay, I'm posting this as a link, rather than a picture, because it's widescreen resolution and I don't want it to fuck up the layout for anyone else (and I already have my Photobucket tabbed open anyway): Rhoda's Twilight Wallpaper.

Why I'm using it:

1) I had just downloaded GIMP and went graphix crazy for a little while.
2) I was a little obsessed with this picture at that time, as I think it's appropriately badass and creepy, as vampires are supposed to be.
3) No one makes widescreen wallpapers, so if I wanted a cool one, I had virtually no choice but to make one myself - or find someone to cajole into making one for me, which seems a bit selfish and lazy if you have your own graphix program.
4) I dig black and white, plain and simple.
5) The reason it's still there is because I've been too lazy to make a new one. (Hint, hint - anyone reading this happen to have a widescreen wallpaper with Gambit, or Dr. Horrible? Send it my way, please!)
rhoda_rants: (romy)
I'm sure this has little relevance to anyone, but I'm doing it anyway: So, the final (un)showdown of Stephenie Meyer's Breaking Dawn includes a crapload of sparklepires we've never seen or heard of before, all with shiny new superpowers that have an uncanny resemblance to a certain decades-old superhero team that Meyer may or may not have completely stolen the idea from. Honestly I don't think there's any malignance in this similarity, but I do find it hilarious. And I've wondered from time to time if, given the chance, the X-Men could take on the Cullens/Volturi/whoever else felt like showing up in a fight. So I broke it down one character - and power - at a time. Yes, I do have a life, really (no, really!) but it's my day off and I'm bored.

Sparklepires vs. Mutants: GO! )
rhoda_rants: (team jasper)
Title: The Night Shade
Length: Multi-chaptered
Chapter: Five
Rating: M
Summary: Beth Dawson, college radio DJ, lives in a dormitory that was once a Confederate hospital. New student Jasper Hale was once a Confederate soldier. What happens when Jasper's past literally comes back to haunt him?
Character(s)/Pairing(s): OC, Jasper, Alice, Maria; canon pairings
Warnings: AU, profanity, violence
Author's Note: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Set after Breaking Dawn, with extended flashbacks building on Jasper's backstory. Read only if you're okay with horror, moderate gore and general creepiness. (I should update more often, shouldn't I? I'll try to be better about that.)

Previous Chapters:

12, 3, 4

New chappie under the cut.... )
rhoda_rants: (jackson rathbone)
So I watched Twilight on DVD on Saturday. First time I'd seen the movie since the theater, as a matter of fact. Smokey fell asleep (she'd already watched it three times that day, haha) but oh, it was good fun.

I define myself as a lolfan - which means I kinda think the whole thing's ridiculous and more than a little silly, but I still love it. But especially the movie. Of the books, Eclipse is my favorite. Partly because it has a real, slow-building plot and a respectable amount of vampire violence, but mostly because of badass Confederate!Jasper. But anyway! When the movie first came out, there was a list of reasons somewhere on the internet why the movie was better than the book. So I've decided to compile a list of 10 reasons why I squee over the movie - and the surrounding fandom - personally.

Warning: Spoilers ahead!

Ready, go! )

All righty - time to watch the movie again!
rhoda_rants: (jackson rathbone)
This might be completely unnecessary, but Rhoda's bored, and there's this nice, convenient blog right here waiting for me to post on it, so here goes nothing:

I did not come up with the term "motley" - at least not as it applies to myself - on my own. During my senior year in college, I spent a semester abroad in London, and in my Shakespeare class (one of two - the other was more literature-based, this was more drama-and-local-history-based; yeah, I'm that kind of nerd) I met a girl called Elisa who decided it suited me. "Motley," of course, is a word generally used to describe the outfit worn by the "fool" character in a play. These days it conjures up an image of a brightly colored, hat-with-bells-on, harlequin style court jester. But originally, the word refered to a raggle-taggle assortment of pieces that are indeed, brightly colored, and sometimes fun, but often mismatched and nonsensical. Think early Madonna or Cindi Lauper if they'd been transplanted to Elizabethan England, and you'll about have it. Better yet, think of Heath Ledger's Joker in The Dark Knight, because that, my friends, is modern motley. (Motley-punk, if you will.) (Incidentally, I threw the 'Core' on the end just because I thought it sounded cool. And that's really the only reason.)

Still with me so far? Good. So in the Shakespeare class, our final project required us to select one scene from one of the plays we'd studied that term and perform it for the rest of the class. Elisa and I chose a scene from Twelfth Night, and I took the role of Feste - the fool. (She was the heroine whose name I forget and can't be bothered to look up at the moment - she was in disguise and attempting to get into a party by way of matching wits with me, guarding the door.) As I didn't have a court jester's outfit on me at the time, we went old-school with the costumes and I just threw a bunch of random things together, as many layers as possible - rainbow-striped knee socks, red-white-and-blue pinstripe waders, green-and-purple plaid over gingham, a fuzzy hat and a bright pink jacket. Oh yeah. I went all out. After class that day, we were meant to go on a mini walking tour of London with our teacher to check out the important sights in Shakespeare lore. I was a little worried that I'd stand out in that nutty get-up, but Elisa assured me that A) this is London after all, everyone dresses weird, no one will notice; and B) in a weird way, it totally suits me. I am a bit motley.

So then I started thinking about that. She's right - I am motley. I don't fit snugly into any particular category, but I choose what I think of as the best bits of many, many different ones. A few examples:

I have gothish tendencies, but I can't call myself a full goth. I don't care about The Cure, I don't always dress in black (although it happens by accident sometimes), and I don't (always) hate life. However, I do read quite a bit of Victorian poetry (Browning and Tennyson are faves), I think cemetaries are romantic, and I love, love, love vampires.

I'm not a total comic nerd because my collection isn't anywhere near full and the only reason I know about Watchmen is because they're making a movie of it now. But I did read a lot of X-men growing up, I have a full set of Neil Gaiman's Sandman graphic novels, and I take a firm stance on the Marvel vs. DC debate. (DC, dammit. Two reasons: Batman and Vertigo. So there.)

I'm well-versed in science fiction, but I'm not a full-out geek for two simple reasons: One, I don't have the time or energy to devote to the scientific theory behind the fiction; Two, I still have a lot of reading to do that may or may not happen depending on where my priorities go book-wise. However, I can recite Isaac Asimov's 3 Laws of Robotics from memory (and am familiar enough his 'verse to know that the Will Smith movie was a fucking travesty without even having seen it), I've read Orson Scott Card's entire Ender saga, and I own a director's cut DVD of George Lucas's THX1138.

I'm also afflicted with what I've affectionately named The Fangirl Gene, and that takes up a lot of time, especially on the internet. More on that later.

So you see, I don't know everything there is to know about any of my beloved fandoms. That doesn't mean I love them any less. It means I have a short attention span, my obsessions come in bursts, and I devote myself to different aspects of fandoms for different reasons, and occasionally come back to one to pursue a line of inquiry I hadn't previously been interested in. I'm a motley. I have a thousand different bits and pieces, and they may not look like they all fit together, but they all fit me.

Gold stars and instant friending for anyone who actually read that whole thing. Show of hands? Anyone?
rhoda_rants: (Default)

I'm trying my hand here at putting together a little fanfic community - Ghosts, Glitter and Gore It's for Twilight fanfic, but not the romance/drama/angst kind. Since dark fantasy and horror is what I write, and what I like to read, I have to assume that there are others in the fandom who feel the same way. So I'm trying to gather them here. Still hacking my way through the format, though, and I'm not sure how to get people's attention, but I'll figure something out. I'll start by posting the Jasper fic that's on my FF.net page, at least the first couple of chapters, and see how that goes.

Wish me luck - and please comment!


rhoda_rants: (Default)

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